All We Need is 40 Acres and VW Van

Allow me to bring you into my communal part of life. I've talked a lot about friends, family, adoption, work, and daily life, but I've never written a post that glimpsed into the commune. Yes, commune. Someone used that term in reference to us years ago and it stuck. Now, when one of us says, "the commune," we know exactly which 8-9 couples we're talking about. Really, family is probably a more accurate term for what we are. This group is my foundation, and life would be terribly lonely without them.

It started when were all a part of a Newly married/Nearly married church small group 6 years ago that quickly evolved into a Newly parent/Nearly parent group. Some couples have come and gone during that time, as far as Italy even, but we're inseparable in heart.

So, what makes the commune any different from any other friends? That's hard to explain. It's such an intimate connection that I never wrote of it here before, like it was too sacred to expose. But without saying too much, here are just a few things that make us what we are:

1. I can look around my house and say, "Eli hung that light;" "Brian hung those curtains;" "R's Tim hung that fan and made those cabinet doors;" "J. tilled that ground,"etc... because the commune guys take care of the commune girls when one of the husbands is deployed. I know some of you commune girls have had some swing sets and ceiling fans that bring back the same memories for you in your houses! Ceiling fans....oh, funny times! ;)

2. We can call each other in times of trouble without a second thought and know that no repayment is due. I'm thinking of someone who mixed cleaning toxins to scrub her bathroom tiles while her husband was deployed and found herself terribly sick in the middle of the night and called me at 2:00am to come over in case she passed out and couldn't take care of her kids! No judgement, dear friend; you should read #3:

3. I left for SE Asia for 6 months, and the electric company told me to turn off the switches in the switch box to save electricity. So, I did. What I didn't do: empty the freezer/refridgerator because I was too distracted to make the connection that switches connected to anything other than lights. Two months or so later...Sara is calling other commune girls trying to figure out what died in my house and probably searching for a hazardous waste suit once she figured it out because she'd need it to clean out my fridge. Yes, she went in there, masked and gloved, and CLEANED my fridge. That is my #1 blonde moment in my life, and that is an amazing friend!

4. I've showed up at a commune girl's house in the middle of the night for a hug and a good cry.

5. We bonded over cinnamon rolls, meatballs, chicken enchiladas, fruit pizza, and any one of Mel's many kid friendly recipes.

6. We were there for each other when a husband's humvee blew up; when a husband hadn't been heard from in awhile, when a husband was deploying AGAIN just after the birth of a baby, and when husbands did all sorts of other-ahem-unpleantries. ;)

7. Has there been a birth where at least one of us wasn't IN the room or on the phone? You were there when I stepped off the plane with Judah and when we brought Caleb home. My fridge was stocked with food for a week, and there were balloons, signs and toys for Judah when he first walked into his forever home.

8. Husbands deployed together and watched out for eachother with a much deeper intensity than just any other soldier would have.

9. Wine and cheese parties at my house. I don't even need to elaborate on that one, do I girls?

10. There have been long heart to hearts in cars, on tailgates, on couches and hospital waiting rooms.

11. We ask each other to raise our children should we both die.

12. We worship and pray together-often.

13. We're all military, so we all move away at some point. Even so, whenever we're reunited it's like we were never apart.

We disagree, argue, make up, talk it out, ask favors, hang out, fix stuff, and celebrate. It's family. Commune, feel free to comment on your favorite memory. I know I'm leaving out some of the best stuff.

So, what's spurred this post on when I've kept these friends so private? The fact that this has been a terribly depressing week. The bad dream I thought I'd wake up from turns out to be reality and Sara and J. really are moving away. Far away. There have been moves before, of course, but none have been as sad as this one. We're separating from two very dear friends, a brother and a sister, and it honestly makes my heart hurt. The up side is that this move is a wonderful opportunity for their family to be together for a few years, deployment free, in a wonderful place. We really are happy for them, but sad to say, "good-bye." There are reunions planned, they'll move back to this side of the country in a few years, and as I said before, no number of miles can separate the love that "the commune" has for its members. If I can find a way to call you two with a crisis on an internet phone from the jungles of Cambodia, I can keep in touch from one side of America to the other! You will be deeply, DEEPLY missed by me and Tim and the boys. Even though you won't be 15 min. away anymore, you'll both be at the forefront of our hearts and lives forever.