Our trip to Paw Paw and MiMi's

Ethiopia, huh? So what about...

I didn't think I'd need to address this for awhile, but since it has come up many times this week in conversation with friends and family, and strangers for that matter, I feel I should address it now. Karen, another woman who blogs about her Ethiopian adoption process, called her post on this topic, "The Elephant in the Living Room of African Adoption." That about sums it up, I think, and that elephant's name is:

I could just refer you to Karen's blog because it is so well written. In fact I will: see my side bar where it says, "Karen: Ethiopian adoption." But I will address it here for my readers as well.

When one thinks of problems in Africa, HIV is paramount. HIV creates orphans. (Be aware though that a leading way babies and children contract HIV in Africa is through shared immunization needles at sub-par, underfunded clinics! These children are innocent victims of this disease, as are so many of the women who contract it from their unfaithful husbands. If interested, watch the film Yesterday for a greater understanding of the real face of AIDS in Africa. http://www.hbo.com/films/yesterday/ )

Anyway, the natural question is then: We are adopting an African orphan; therefore, how will HIV affect us?

Hopefully, it won't. Tim and I do not feel that it is our mission right now to parent HIV positive children. Tim said that if it were just he and I, he would strongly consider it since HIV is a death sentence in Ethiopia for these innocents. People born HIV positive in America at the time of modern antivirals are living into their twenties now. There is no reason not to beleive that these people will live long lives. Too bad we don't share some of these life saving drugs with dying children in Africa. . .but that's for another post.

The reality is that we have two very little boys at home. Though ALL children should be taught by their parents, "If you see blood, find an adult," that doesn't mean a toddler will remember such a lesson in a bout of rough housing. There were HIV positive children in the school at which I taught here in America. HIV is all around us. Thankfully, it isn't the flu and cannot be spread through day to day contact. I repeat: It IS NOT THE FLU and CANNOT BE SPREAD THROUGH DAY TO DAY CONTACT. It is transfered through blood. That said, J. fell down a hill at the park last week and scraped his knee. C. was there immediately to kiss his open wound and give him a big hug. Inherant sympathy, the pure God loving through us, rules over discretion with two year olds, so we are not requesting an HIV positive baby.

I've learned after much research and talking with our family physician lately that only 25% of babies born to HIV positive mothers contract the disease.

75-80% of infants test negative for the disease once they reach 18 months of age. It is the mother's antibodies still in the infant that false test positive in the infant prior to 18 months of age.

So what if you adopt a baby under the age of 18 months? How will you know if he or she is positive or negative? The HIV-1 DNA, Qualitative PCR test. In simple speak, this procedure tests the infant's DNA for HIV, not just his blood. Therefore, the mother's antibodies are not interfering with the results, and one can know if an infant is actually HIV positive or not. It is 99.----% accurate. This test is done on all African orphans hoping to be adopted, and it is done AGAIN when the child is preparing to get his or her visa to enter the US. We will know before we accept the referral, and definately before the child comes home, whether or not he or she is HIV positive.

Let me pause now to address a couple of things. We believe that God puts families together. Whether you birth a child, or God in his omnipotence places a baby from one continent into your arms on another continent, His will is done. Remember we requested a sibling group from the Philippines three years ago, one member of which was to be a baby under 15 months of age at referral. That's what US Immigration and the Philippines approved us for-a sibling group from the Philippines. What God gave us was-on the SAME DAY mind you-a referral for a domestic infant and a Filipino toddler. There was our sibling group; the group God had intended, not one that we could have ever imagined. So, what if we accept a referral for an HIV negative child this time around only to find out that three months later, after loving this child from afar for three months, considering this child our child for months, praying and fasting for God to send us the child He has intended for us for a year, we learn that the 99.----% accurate test was wrong, and actually our child is HIV positive. What will we do?

What would you do if you birthed a child that had severe mental retardation, or some other horrible disease? Some people condemn adoption with phrases like, "You never know what you're going to get with an adopted kid." Well, I'm not even going to get into all the reasons why that's a ridiculous statement because I know we all know families who did everything right and still birthed a special needs child. Amazing,God fearing families whose birth children grew up to be challenges, so to speak. It's true, you don't know what you're going to get. None of us do. But God does.

As Tim and I have discussed it in the past, an internationally adopted child is your child at acceptance of referral. Some people consider the child theirs at first meeting, at first step into America, at finalization. For me, I'm committed after reviewing all of the available medicals, history and pictures, and I write a letter to the foreign authority saying, "We are accepting this referral as our son/daughter." That's the birth. The months after that working with US Immigration to get the baby home is, well, just the looonnngggg ride home from the hospital.

As Karen so eloquently put it in her blog, "God doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called." We are confident that God will send us the children He has intended to be in our family as He has marveously and perfectly done twice before, and He will equip us with bodies and minds to handle it. There were surprises with both J. and C. and I guess any child that has ever been born. In conclusion, HIV is not a reason not to adopt from Africa. It is far more likely a woman would birth a child here in America with a medical need than a child test false negative on the HIV DNA test. FAR more likely, so as I see it...all the more reason to adopt your children.

The Big Reveal

(Forget 100 hits every 2-3 days; we were getting over 100 hits A DAY for awhile, so I will keep you in suspense no longer!)

I'm thinking of a country. . .

*that houses 77 million people,

*yet, nearly 10% of all newborns die in infancy.


*The rest live a life expectancy of less than 50 years.


*1.5 million of them are living with HIV.

*It is one of, if not THE, oldest country on the planet. Some refer to it as "the cradle of humanity." In fact, Lucy, the upright walking, somewhat human looking skeleton was found here.

*Its language is Semitic based. No one knows exactly where the strong Jewish influence here originates. Some say it is from Moses' wife of this likely heritage. Others trace it to when the tribe of Dan migrated south after the split of Israel and Judah. Others say it began with the contraversial offspring of King Solomon and the Queen of Sheba-a dynasty which they believe lasted until its overthrow in 1974. Today, there are about 80 different nationalities here.


*One of the most popular theories with archeologists holds that the Arc of the Covenant is here, under the church St. Mary of Zion.


*In modern times, seventeen years of civil war from 1974-1991, combined with the Walla famine and universal drought, left thousands orphaned, millions dead, infractructure destroyed, and economy ruined.


*Therefore, it is tied with Burundi for the lowest GDP in the world-$90 and is the third poorest country in the world.


*This country has 5 MILLION orphans, and MSN reported in 2004 that adoptable babies are becoming the country's #1 export. If ever there was a country where there is a need for adoptive families, it's here.



*The adoption fees for this country are some of the lowest available, and referrals for children are quick.

You probably have guessed by now that baby #3 will come from . . . . . . . da da DA.........................Ethiopia!

We were recomended an agency, Love Basket Inc., by Christian Adoption Services-the agency that facilitated J. and C.'s adoptions. Ethiopia is a new program for Love Basket, but one family has already brought home their six month old little boy.

Our prayerful request: a healthy baby of either gender-well under 12 months old at time of travel.

We can't complete our dossier until Tim returns in the fall, but a referral is expected within six months of dossier arrival in Addis Ababa. Travel comes about 3 months after acceptance of referral. Though escorts are available for Ethiopia, Tim and I are GREATLY looking forward to our trip to Africa to meet and bring home the new baby next year. Grandparents-get ready to watch two very excited big brothers while Mom and Dad get to visit The Continent!

Here are some blog links to three "cyber friends" I've made lately who are also in the process of, or have completed, an Ethiopian adoption. You can see pictures and read of their journeys.

www.5mcckids.blogspot.com

http://mysite.verizon.net/resotl5g/id20.html

http://eliasbrown.blogspot.com/

Love Basket=http://www.lovebasket.org/AP/Ethiopia.htm


Blessings to all, and thank you for following along this journey with us. If you have questions or comments, please leave them in the comments (below) and I will try to address them in the next post.

Adoption Chronicles, Volume 3, Chapter 2

Over 200 hits in five days-I'd say you all are a little curious! Thanks for participating in this journey with us. We treasure your support and encouraging words. Well, if you aren't one of those aforementioned 200 people, you'll need to read chapter one below before continuing. As for the rest of you, here is chapter two:

Tim and I have always found the India/Tibet/Nepal region of the world fascinating. It's right in between where he and I have lived and worked, Afghanistan and SE Asia respectively, and combines the beauty, culture, and landscape of both worlds. It seeps of tales of Mt. Everest attempts, Shangri La, Bombay silk, bangle, and cardamom markets, and chanting Buddhist monks. We were actually planning on a trip there for our ten year wedding anniversary in 2009. It seemed natural to look here for our next child. Though Indian adoption laws require that either the father or mother be of Indian decent to adopt a child under four years old, and there are naturally no adoptions allowed through Tibet right now, we qualified to adopt from Nepal.

Amidst its beauty, Nepal is the poorest country in Asia. It has the highest child trafficking rates in the world, with its little girls especially being "exported" to India and Malaysia. Clearly, there is a pressing need for adoptive families in Nepal. The Ministry of Women and Children's Welfare in Nepal says that if a family already has a boy in the home, they must adopt a girl. So, despite the fact that Nepal adoptions require two trips (who's complaining about two trips to our dream vacation spot...),we were psyched to bring home a baby girl from Katmandu.

However, literally the same week we made this decision, the new minister at the Ministry of Women and Children in Nepal decided to suspend international adoptions until he became more acquainted with his job. As a result of his examinations, a couple of weeks later, he decided to stop all international adoptions until Nepal conformed to the Hague requirements on international adoption. Such an undertaking, from one of the poorest places on earth, is quite time consuming. Since Nepal wasn't currently a part of the Hague Convention for international adoption, they weren't complying to the checks and balances within that system, and stories of children being stolen, persuaded, or bought from birthfamilies began clanging in our hearts. Tim and I cringe at the thought of unknowingly adopting a child who had been stolen from his or her birthfamily. And who knows if we'd even qualify for Nepal once it reopened, if it reopened, so why submit papers now-and the fees that go with them? Cambodia has been suspended for these reasons since what-2004? Still, children are sitting in orphanages there, stuck, waiting on the government to produce a transparent program.

So, I must say, for all of you who thought it was Nepal, you're wrong! ;) After much prayer, we feel great peace in putting Nepal on hold until the new rules are ratified. Supposedly, the draft of the new rules state that a family can adopt a child of either gender (even if both genders are already in the home), and the limit of two children in the family is broadened. If it's God will, we'll qualify and adopt from there later. With Tim and I's love for that region, how could we not!? In the meantime, we pray that Nepal moves swiftly to comply with the Hague so that its children are protected from child traffickers, and so that the more than 400 families who were in the Nepal program when it suspended can get their children home soon.

As a result of this, we were back at square one in the search for the right country and the right agency. Where in the world IS baby #3???? I'll tell you in the next post!

By the way, if you're interested in adopting a child from Nepal-and I STRONGLY recommend it once it reopens-here's the link for a fabulous agency. Ask for Eric. All of the children shown in the post are Nepali. http://www.faithadopt.org/home/programs/nepal