The Reinvention of the Wheel

Isn't it odd how life can roll full circle? I remember listening to U2's Joshua Tree and the Rattle and Hum album until the wee hours of the morning when I was a teenager. It was a cassette, actually, and I'd lie in bed with my mon's old lava lamp, think about the famine in Ethiopia, those horrible commericials with flies in childrens' eyes and wonder why more isn't done "in the name of love"? It broke my heart. So, I went to Jamaica to serve on my first foreign mission. That broke my heart even more. Old women without arms and legs shouldn't have to rock in a rusted baby crib like Weeble Wobbles in rags with chickens pecking the bugs off of the floor. And that poor woman should not have had the joy to be able to sing Amazing Grace with me. Not when I was whining about the hot water running out in the shower at the hotel that morning. People were still dying. People were still living unequally. My heart was still broken.

I've learned recently from a friend that I could be described as a passionate person. When my heart is convicted, pricked of a need, an injustice, a desire to love, I have to do it. I have to go; I have to put out the fire. I have to heal my heart ache. Don't think I'm wonderful. This can be what is known in Shakespearean literature as a "tragic flaw".

Flash forward twenty years... Ethiopia's famine is over, though the land and people haven't recovered from its effects. Three years ago, I laid on my bed in Phnom Penh with the newest U2 album (a CD this time)-How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb-while finishing paperwork to assist on a medical mission several hours away the next morning. Pills for pain, dressings for landmine wounds that won't heal; rice for starving babies, numbers to hand out becuase only 150 people can be seen... All the while listening to Bono scream to God and people:
Lay down
Lay down your guns
All your daughters of Zion
All your Abraham sons
I don’t know if I can make it
I’m not easy on my knees
Here’s my heart and you can break it
I need some release, release, release
We need Love and peace
Love and peace

Sometimes I want to scream for release.

Somewhere in Ethiopia a soul is carrying a child that will become my son or daughter because she will die of AIDS, malaria, or can't find food. That breaks my heart. I don't want this to be a depressing post; I'm just expressing some thoughts I've had lately. I'll try to write something more humorous next week. I'm not drepressed; just not content with all parts of the planet. But I do hope you are passionate about something, and that that passion helps make the world a more equal place. I know this video has been around-especially among those interested in African issues, but it seemed appropriate to post it today. Just sharing a little of my passion (peace, Bono, ending hunger, establishing global equality, etc...) with you. And maybe when this wheel makes full circle again in twenty years all people will have been provided with a $10.00 mosquito net; they'll be a cure for AIDS that pharmaceutical companies choose to share with the poor; there will be no more orphans in Ethiopia, and my heart will find release.

The Productivity that Sprouts from a Dead Modem

I've been on sabbatical from the internet lately. Though not my choice (faulty hard drive, faulty modem, some other mystery problems...) it has been surprisingly pleasant to have the keyboard removed from my fingertips. There have only been a couple of real inconveniences about the situation, like helping Tim with his final graduate school paper of the semester and updating the blog, but other than that, there hasn't been anything that either can't wait or can't be solved using the...what's that invention called? Oh yes, the telephone.

I've gotten a lot done with my computer unplugged. During the first round of problems, I took C.'s crib down and set up a toy shelving unit in their room. And I painted a giraffe on the wall to measure their heights. Yes, it went just like that in my head: "Self, what WILL you do today without a computer?" "I think I'll paint a giraffe on the boys' wall." "Great idea, self." And here it is:

The boys started preschool this week. Can I get a "Halleluiah"? They only go there three mornings a week-9 hours a week-but what a blessed 9 hours it is! The planets have re-aligned and I have been able to get the tags for my car, go to the doctor, fill-out adoption papers, bathe alone, sit in a Starbucks parking lot with a grande extra hot hazelnut mocha and think, "Holy cats, it's quiet in here." Beautiful. And then I rush back to preschool, worried about whether or not C. ran out of diapers, if any ruthless toddler pummeled one of them, if they obeyed their teacher, how much paint they ate; I scoop them up, hug them, kiss them like they've been rescued from a burning building and tell them honestly about how much I missed them. I'm pathetic. Or just really in love with my babies. Here's another pic of their first day of school, showing off their new backpacks. C. was sooooo excited to go to school. He could have cried a little....just one tear would have been fine with me. I got enough tears from J. to make up for it, though and by the second day of school they were both running off to their classrooms with glee.

I also finished J.'s baby book since the demise of my internet connection. Yep-that is a year and a half late; go ahead and reprimand me now. But it is finally done, and I will do another post on that later.

In addition, I've reconnected with old friends via the...telephone, begun work on our homestudy for "new baby" (as the boys call him), started working with a travel agent (via telephone) on travel plans for our trip to Africa which is also serving as Tim and I's ten year wedding anniversary trip. Tim and I spent many hours in negotiation about a new job, and we are so blessed to have been given, "ordered" rather, a new job that meets BOTH of our desires. Those of you follwoing this saga know what a relief this is, and what a blessing it is to know that God listens and provides. Tim will be home much more with this new job, and the signing bonus puts us on a lifestyle that we feel strongly to be God's will for us-debt free with money invested for the future. Certainly, another Halleluiah is due here.

I'm currently at the county library using the internet, apparently to become a once or twice a week ritual for me until my computer is feeling up to par again. But feel free to leave comments and I'll read them when I can. Tim checks the blog everyday to see the boys. Or better yet, pick up the phone and call me. Human voices are nice. Have fun choosing joy this week,

Doss-ee-A

(Buzayan, 6, from Jinka, Ethiopia. Photo from the Bowers Museum. For more photos from the Bridges to Understanding Exhibit, go here: http://www.bowers.org/exhibits/exhibit_bridges3.asp)

Doss-ee-A. That's how you pronounce the word that means, "the big packet of papers that goes overseas when one is adopting a child." In addition to the dossier requirements, there are adoption agency requirements, and United States Customs and Immigration Services (USCIS) requirements. Sometimes these papers overlap, or more often, three copies are needed and one goes to each place. Put together, the requirements for these three entitites are often lazily called "the dossier" (even though technically the dossier is only the legal part that goes overseas), and very often referred to as "the paperchase." Many of you have asked, "How is it coming with the Ethiopian adoption?" Well, this is where we are with baby #3's adoption: the paperchase.

One COULD complete the paperchase in 2-3 mon. Most families are very anxious and do get it done in about three months. We are taking our time with ours, however. Some parts of the dossier can't be completed until Tim gets home. And frankly, we aren't in THAT much of a hurry to bring home a new baby! We'd like to get Caleb out of diapers first, at least. So, we're looking at about five months of paperchasing.

What's involved in this paperchase, you ask? I'll list some of it below. But I can tell you that your best friend during this time is your notary! We are so blessed to have a sweet, wonderful, accomodating woman (yes, she will have to go with us to the doctor for notary signatures...) at church who is our notary. THANK YOU, KATRINA!!!! Not having a reliable, accessible notary was our biggest headache with J.'s adoption, and we are so blessed to have Katrina this time around!

In no particular order, here is some of what is involved in the paperchase for an international adoption:
1. Applications to an adoption agency. (Deposit/application fees)

2. Letters of recommendation including pastoral, family, friends, and work. THANK YOU, R. for driving down, with a toddler, a couple of states to have your letter of recommendation notarized in my state so that it passes through the state department check at the end of the paperchase process. I love our 3-4 day visits! You are a sister, a best friend, a Godsend in my life! And Jason, when I get yours at the end of August I'll have just as nice things to say about you! ;)

3. Bank statements from all accounts going back six months.

4. W-2's for the previous three years.

5. Letters from insurance companies stating that a "pre-adoptive child receives full medical benefits beginning the moment he/she is placed in your care."

6. Full physical exams, plus lab work. (fee for what insurance won't cover)

7. Autobiographies

8. Psychological examinations (possible fees)

9. The I-600A (the initial application to adopt an orphan, filed with USCIS) BIG fee attached.

10. Current passports (our were expiring next year, so more fees...)

11. Criminal background clearance from the State Bureau of Investigation (fee)

12. Fingerprints for the State Bureau of Investigation done at the local court house (fee)

13. Fingerprints for USCIS done at their office (big fee)

14. Pictorial essay with captions

15. At least ten logged hours of adoption classes/research/preparation to meet the new Hague Convention rules.

16. Copies of drivers' liscenses

17. Extra passport photos (fee)

18. Privacy Disclosure legal forms

19. Pre-placement/post placement Adoption Agreement legal forms

20. Financial statement (assets/debt/ savings, stocks and bonds, etc...)

21. Certified copies of marriage, death and birth certificates (fees)

22. The Home Study (at least 4 visits with a social worker, one of your home.) This is the big packet that evaluates you, your marriage, your children, your home, your medical, your financial habits, adoption preparedness, intimacies, fears, joys, annoyances and grievances. -BIG fee. A copy of this goes all the way up the chain from the home study agency to USCIS to Addis Ababa.

23. A bit more, and the bit varies by country, but I won't bore you with the details any longer. The Philippines required a dream anaylsis....weird...

23. Notarize everything. (Have I said, "Thank you, Katrina?")

Make copies of everything. Save everything. Things will get lost, and when tax time rolls around the next year, you'll want every receipt you can find to utilize as much of the nearly $11,000 federal adoption tax credit as possible.

I'm not complaining, mind you. Human traffiking is ugly and real. Did anyone see the Dateline special the other night on human traffiking from the Philippines to Malaysia? Many checks and balances are needed within the system to guarantee that legitimate orphans (NOT children who are coersed, bought, sold or borrowed from their birth families...) are placed in safe, capable homes. And honestly, when you take your adoption dossier checklist and go down it one point by one point, it isn't so bad. Compared to nine months of pregnancy, blurred vision, cavities, labor, delivery, stretch marks, the untamable baby tummy, and the realization that you passed your grotesquely large third toe on to another human being...what's a bit of paperwork? Especially when you leisurely give yourself five or six months to do it, and are content with the two blessings you already have. For today anyway.

The last of the summer exodus pics:

Congratulations, Steve and Melissa!

Anyone need a financial advisor? I know a good one! That isn't really the point of this long overdue post, though. We just got back from our nearly two month "midwest tour," and we're all a bit exhausted, not quite adjusted to the time change, and overwhelmed with all that has to be done here on the homefront. But bit by bit, things will get back to normal. One of the many wonderful events of the summer however was the announcement of Steve's engagement! He and Melissa have been dating awhile, and we are so excited for them.

We LOVE her, and I'm so blessed to be able to add this wonderful woman to my list of fabulous sister-in-laws! Congratulations, Steve and Melissa! This picture of you two at the museum cracks me up! I know you'll love it that I posted it here! ;Here's some recent pics of Steve with the family this summer:

P.S. No word yet on when the big day will be, but I know they're leaning toward a private island ceremony-just the two of them, the waves, some orchids, and maybe a ukulele...