Ethiopia, huh? So what about...

I didn't think I'd need to address this for awhile, but since it has come up many times this week in conversation with friends and family, and strangers for that matter, I feel I should address it now. Karen, another woman who blogs about her Ethiopian adoption process, called her post on this topic, "The Elephant in the Living Room of African Adoption." That about sums it up, I think, and that elephant's name is:

I could just refer you to Karen's blog because it is so well written. In fact I will: see my side bar where it says, "Karen: Ethiopian adoption." But I will address it here for my readers as well.

When one thinks of problems in Africa, HIV is paramount. HIV creates orphans. (Be aware though that a leading way babies and children contract HIV in Africa is through shared immunization needles at sub-par, underfunded clinics! These children are innocent victims of this disease, as are so many of the women who contract it from their unfaithful husbands. If interested, watch the film Yesterday for a greater understanding of the real face of AIDS in Africa. http://www.hbo.com/films/yesterday/ )

Anyway, the natural question is then: We are adopting an African orphan; therefore, how will HIV affect us?

Hopefully, it won't. Tim and I do not feel that it is our mission right now to parent HIV positive children. Tim said that if it were just he and I, he would strongly consider it since HIV is a death sentence in Ethiopia for these innocents. People born HIV positive in America at the time of modern antivirals are living into their twenties now. There is no reason not to beleive that these people will live long lives. Too bad we don't share some of these life saving drugs with dying children in Africa. . .but that's for another post.

The reality is that we have two very little boys at home. Though ALL children should be taught by their parents, "If you see blood, find an adult," that doesn't mean a toddler will remember such a lesson in a bout of rough housing. There were HIV positive children in the school at which I taught here in America. HIV is all around us. Thankfully, it isn't the flu and cannot be spread through day to day contact. I repeat: It IS NOT THE FLU and CANNOT BE SPREAD THROUGH DAY TO DAY CONTACT. It is transfered through blood. That said, J. fell down a hill at the park last week and scraped his knee. C. was there immediately to kiss his open wound and give him a big hug. Inherant sympathy, the pure God loving through us, rules over discretion with two year olds, so we are not requesting an HIV positive baby.

I've learned after much research and talking with our family physician lately that only 25% of babies born to HIV positive mothers contract the disease.

75-80% of infants test negative for the disease once they reach 18 months of age. It is the mother's antibodies still in the infant that false test positive in the infant prior to 18 months of age.

So what if you adopt a baby under the age of 18 months? How will you know if he or she is positive or negative? The HIV-1 DNA, Qualitative PCR test. In simple speak, this procedure tests the infant's DNA for HIV, not just his blood. Therefore, the mother's antibodies are not interfering with the results, and one can know if an infant is actually HIV positive or not. It is 99.----% accurate. This test is done on all African orphans hoping to be adopted, and it is done AGAIN when the child is preparing to get his or her visa to enter the US. We will know before we accept the referral, and definately before the child comes home, whether or not he or she is HIV positive.

Let me pause now to address a couple of things. We believe that God puts families together. Whether you birth a child, or God in his omnipotence places a baby from one continent into your arms on another continent, His will is done. Remember we requested a sibling group from the Philippines three years ago, one member of which was to be a baby under 15 months of age at referral. That's what US Immigration and the Philippines approved us for-a sibling group from the Philippines. What God gave us was-on the SAME DAY mind you-a referral for a domestic infant and a Filipino toddler. There was our sibling group; the group God had intended, not one that we could have ever imagined. So, what if we accept a referral for an HIV negative child this time around only to find out that three months later, after loving this child from afar for three months, considering this child our child for months, praying and fasting for God to send us the child He has intended for us for a year, we learn that the 99.----% accurate test was wrong, and actually our child is HIV positive. What will we do?

What would you do if you birthed a child that had severe mental retardation, or some other horrible disease? Some people condemn adoption with phrases like, "You never know what you're going to get with an adopted kid." Well, I'm not even going to get into all the reasons why that's a ridiculous statement because I know we all know families who did everything right and still birthed a special needs child. Amazing,God fearing families whose birth children grew up to be challenges, so to speak. It's true, you don't know what you're going to get. None of us do. But God does.

As Tim and I have discussed it in the past, an internationally adopted child is your child at acceptance of referral. Some people consider the child theirs at first meeting, at first step into America, at finalization. For me, I'm committed after reviewing all of the available medicals, history and pictures, and I write a letter to the foreign authority saying, "We are accepting this referral as our son/daughter." That's the birth. The months after that working with US Immigration to get the baby home is, well, just the looonnngggg ride home from the hospital.

As Karen so eloquently put it in her blog, "God doesn't call the equipped. He equips the called." We are confident that God will send us the children He has intended to be in our family as He has marveously and perfectly done twice before, and He will equip us with bodies and minds to handle it. There were surprises with both J. and C. and I guess any child that has ever been born. In conclusion, HIV is not a reason not to adopt from Africa. It is far more likely a woman would birth a child here in America with a medical need than a child test false negative on the HIV DNA test. FAR more likely, so as I see it...all the more reason to adopt your children.