Adoption Chronicles, Vol 3, Chapter 1. . .

There is a lot to be said about the developments toward baby number 3 the past few months, and much of the tale is ongoing. (You didn't think we'd stop at two, did you?) So, I will deliver this saga in parts. I know that many adoption friends read this blog, so it will include specific information that some of you couldn't care less about, but others will find it helpful. So, here goes...

Where in the World IS Baby #3?????

Before the actual adoption process can begin, a family must choose a country and an agency that is certified to process adoptions in that country. Sound easy? Think again. Here are some of the issues involved:

Some countries require a family own a home, make a certain salary, or weigh a certain poundage (Korea).

Some countries have limits about how many children can already be in the home before adding another, or what gender a family is allowed to adopt (Nepal).

Some have various numbers for the amount of time between adoptions (The Philippines).

Others require papers to be certified and/or translated (Russia),

or Americans are only allowed to adopt children four years or older (India).

None favor harmonica players.

The biggest variance: wait times. Guatemala has babies available immediately, though the program was recently shut down by the US over very legitimate transparency concerns.

In other countries, like China, the wait for a healthy baby has exploded to somewhere between two and three years! (Note: if you're hoping to adopt an older child, or a child with moderate to severe medical needs, God Bless You! And your waits will be much shorter.)

Just when you think you've found a great program, like Haiti, where wait times are around three months or less and there is a HUGE need, you realize that the wait time to pick up your child AFTER referral may be a year or longer!

Then there's the fees. Some countries require two trips. That's a tremendous added expense. We only had to be in Manila for 5 days with Judah's adoption. Other countries require one or both parents be in country for a month or more, sometimes twice (Ukraine). The agency fees vary, the country fees vary, not all agencies work in every state so there's a homestudy agency fee, and then my favorite people: The United States Customs and Immigration Services who just saw it in the adoptive families' best interests to up their fees again from $500 something to nearly $800. Overall, including travel and USCIS fees, a family is looking at somewhere between $11,000 and $35,000 for the adoption of one child, with fees for a domestic adoption somewhere in the middle of those two figures. See? Big difference.

What am I leaving out? The internet searches, the calls to agencies, the calls to references, the hours on chat rooms with other families who have, or are currently, adopting from a country you're interested in to get "the real" story, and the issue of need. Tim and I have no desire to adopt a child where there are hundreds of families already waiting.

In summary, we spent a couple of months asking, "Where is there a need? From where do we qualify? Can we afford the fees? Is the program transparent? Are there children available that will fit well with our family? What are the wait times? What agencies represent this country? Do they return my phone calls? Do they have good references? Is the paperwork reasonable and bearable? What age of children are available?

Oh yes, and what is God's will?"

Baby number #3 is not in an incubator down the hall with a clearly labeled family name tag on him (or her). He or she is out there among 143 million other orphans, and it takes a lot of research to begin the journey to bring this child home.

I'm presenting a devotional tomorrow night on discovering God's will. After a few hours in my Bible, I've learned that God used to show His will to people by audibly speaking to them. "Moses, go to Egypt." "Samuel, get up." Wouldn't that be nice... "Tim and Tiffany, drop an application with Commonwealth Adoption Agency for Vietnam." Since this option isn't likely, God shows us His will through prayer, fasting, using our mind (as opposed to our sometimes wishy washy hearts) and his Word.

Tim and I spent a lot of time in prayer and study before he left, and eventually we chose....

Sorry, you'll have to wait until Chapter 2. Believe me, this journey gets more complicated than one might think.