Namaste

The family went to Charlotte this weekend to speak at an adoption conference our agency was hosting. The new Hague Convention requires 10 hours of adoption preparation for adoptive families before placement, so there were more people there this time than in the past (now that they have to go...), though most families were very attentive and were striving to gleam all the information they could.

Even though we were the speakers on inter-country toddler adoption, we were encouraged to bring the boys. They are the obvious effective "prop" in such a setting, provided they're well behaved. And they were! When families see J. loving all over us, and C. running around laughing, it gives them hope that they will have a successful placement as well.

The director wanted us to cover everything from the first meeting, the plane ride, traveler's insurance, attachment, the grief process, jet-lag, questions for the orphanage caretakers, USCIS, and trauma from the birthfamily. Every family in our conference was adopting from a different country: the Philippines, Ethiopia, El Salvador, Korea, etc... They had wonderful questions, and sometimes stunned faces. That was the point though. The director told me beforehand that, "Most of these families need a more realistic perspective. They think their toddler will come running into their arms crying, 'Mommy! Mommy!' from day-one and be able to read books! Don't scare them; but tell them like it is." Hopefully, that mission was accomplished. I didn't want to discourage, just prepare.

It's a pleasure for us to go over there once or twice a year and present at these conferences. We hope our story encourages other to adopt, and better prepares them for what they are getting into. And what they are getting into is the biggest, most time-consuming, complicated blessing of their lives!

Not to mention, we love Charlotte. We go to the "rich people mall" off of Rea street amid the 2 million dollar homes and look-OK gawk at-the "make believe" people. Really-this one guy had on white from head to toe with shiny white shoes. He had gold jewlrey, dark sunglasses and a runway walk. And then there was the half plastic blonde attached to his arm, also drowned in white, complete with a white leather skirt that should have been significantly longer-even on her brand new pair of legs. In her arms was a (go ahead and guess...) miniature cocker spaniel with a diamond leash dressed appropriately in- you guessed it-white. Oh it's sad what the love of money can do to people. Sometimes it steals not only their souls, but their identity as well. (OK-so it's not nice to stare, but after being stared at everyday and fielding questions like 'Are those your children? And 'You must be a foster mom-can you tell me about that process?" daily, we felt we earned a little credit to be spent in the stare department.)

Also in Charlotte, I get to go the World Market; we eat at Panera Bread; Tim can pick up parts for his truck at the Land Rover dealership; and the streets are lined with green sod, peach stands, pottery, and dogwood trees. This may not sound like much to you-you St. Louis-ians are probably thinking, "Frontenac"-but compared to the military town we live in, Charlotte is a little glimmer of the good life reminiscent of the towns we grew up in and love. Yes, love. Love of money? Maybe. Love of adoption? Definately.

And for those of you wondering, yes we did talk to the director about our next adoption. Yes, I said we-Tim too was involved in this conversation. Since Vietnam re-opened a year or so ago, we've been very interested in it. Afterall, SE Asia has a special place in my heart, and I love Vietnam! However, our agency's new Vietnam program had some set-backs, so currently, we can't adopt a Vietnamese child through them. Korea was on our top five list, but Korea just re-vamped their entire program as well. It's yet to be seen how adoptions will go with them under the new laws. Then, we had Ethiopia (a country our agency is not certified in), domestic, and El Salvador (the country in which our agency began). But first, we need to get through Tim's next deployment. Ask us again at the end of the year, and, Lord willing (Isn't is awesome how Muslims are in the habit of saying that after very statement with a futurisitc desire??? I'm not in that habit, though I should be) we will be able to have a more definitive answer for you as to where our next child will be born. Just an update post as to what we've been up to lately. Hope all is well where you are. Blessings!