The journey to our angel

The Journey to our Angel
C. is our surprise baby! Yes, that can happen in adoption too. It would be helpful to read “The journey to J.” (though that isn’t posted yet) to get the full story of how C. came to be a part of our family. At a few points, their adoption stories intertwine. Though, I’ll do my best to give C. his own post, and J. his own post.

For Tim and me, the choice between a domestic adoption or an international adoption was an easy one. It was our time oversees that led us to adoption in the first place, so international adoption was really the only type that we considered. “Families wait years for babies in America,” I told Tim. “We’re not parents desperately trying to get a baby; we’re wanting to parent a child that desperately needs a home.” As we saw it, the ratio between available children and waiting adoptive families in America was well slanted in the direction of the adoptive families. “There is a need in the Philippines,” we said. “Let’s adopt from there.”

However, everything changed at an adoption conference we went to in October of 2004. The director of our agency began speaking of all the healthy newborns that came through the agency each year for whom homes couldn’t be found. Some of these babies spent months in foster care before they were placed in another state. Some never made it out of foster care. Tim and I looked at each other, and thought, “In America? What’s the problem?” The problem as it turned out, was that these infants are of a minority race. It suddenly became clear that the other fifty or so families at the conference, many who had been waiting for a referral for over a year, were waiting for a healthy white baby. Stunned, I looked at Tim and asked, “Do you care what color your children are?”
“Are you serious?” he answered.
“I didn’t think so, but if it’s an issue for all these people…”
“I think we need to talk to the director to change our paperwork.”
“Yeah-me too.”
And so we did-change our adoption plan, that is. We simply told them that we would stay in the international program. However, if a baby came through the agency for whom a family could not be found, please let us know. We were willing to switch programs. “We’ll accept whichever comes first, I guess,” we decided.

The end of July, 2005, our agency emailed me. The email read, “There is a birthmother who is carrying a full African American male who is looking for a young childless couple to parent her son. You are the only family we have that meets these qualifications that is willing to parent the child. She’s due Sept. 1st. Are you interested?”

“Yep-we’re interested.”

For the next week, we tried not to dwell on the possibility of being parents in thirty days or less. After all, this young woman still had to look at our profiles and actually choose us to parent her son. And then she had seven days after the birth to change her mind. “We’ll see what happens,” we both agreed. “But maybe we should buy some diapers or something, just in case.”

As God would have it, on August 8th, the agency called our home. (Phone calls from your adoption agency are either really good news, or really bad news…). Anyway, he said, “You’re not going to believe this, but the birthmother chose you to parent her son, and this morning I also got a referral for you from the Philippines. I know you requested a sibling group from the Philippines, but it is a referral for one male: two years old with some minor medical needs. Which adoption do you want to pursue?”
“What?!” I thought. We told God, “Whichever comes first!” I told the director I’d have to talk to Tim, and I’d call him back. I called Tim in a panic, and he just laughed.
“This is great! I have two sons!”
“What?! That’s crazy! Do you know how much that would cost?”
“We’ll find the money. Tell the director we want both referrals.”

Actually, God provided the money. He used good friends, the agency, the bank, and an amazing invention called a 0%- interest- for- one- year- credit card. (The US government provides a $10,600 tax credit for adoption, and the Army provides up to $5,000 cash reimbursement for adoption. But a family cannot use either of those until after the adoption is final-about a year after placement).

At this point, it was a waiting game. Dear friends let us borrow or have everything a family needs to welcome home a baby. They wanted to make sure that we didn’t go out and buy things like a crib, diapers, a pack-n-play, bottles, clothes, etc…and then the birthmother change her mind and choose to parent five days after we had the baby home. It would be devastating to have a furnished nursery and no baby.

By the last week of August I could hardly sleep. I carried the phone with me everywhere I went. I had dreams about babies, and wandered around Target looking at baby stuff until I snapped out of it and thought, “What am I doing? She could choose to parent this baby, and this dreaming is a waste of time. Go home and do something productive.”

Tim had a soccer game on August 30th. I was watching the team warm up when my cell phone rang. “A baby boy was born at 3:00 pm today!” exclaimed the director. “He weighs 7 lbs. 8 oz, and is healthy.”
I think my heart actually stopped beating for a few seconds. “And the birthmother?” I asked.
“She is fine, and she is solid in her adoption plan. She is scheduled to sign the papers tomorrow.”
I ran onto the field and said, “Timmy we have a baby! Timmy we have a baby!” He played horribly that night-being a little distracted in thought-but there was no question that he was very happy.

On September 1st, we drove to the adoption agency in Charlotte to meet God’s baby, who we had been calling, “September Baby” for a month. We were afraid to use the name we had chosen for him. There seemed to be less attachment to “September Baby.” But as soon as the social worker walked in with this tiny infant and placed him in Tim’s arms, he was no longer “September Baby.” He was “Baby C.”
















I don’t think there is a more surreal experience than the day you meet your child. I mean, a woman walked into the room, put a baby in our arms, and trusted us to drive away with him. Since I wasn’t pregnant, or expecting this baby for nine months, it was quite a shock. Tim felt like he’d stolen a pot of gold for days. “They just gave him to us,” he’d say. Really, God blessed a very brave and faithful young woman with him, who loved him enough to find a family for him that could give him what he needed. The world is a better, more hopeful place with young women like C.’s birthmother- young women who choose to walk the more difficult road for the love of a child.

So, we brought Baby C. home and have cared for him ever since. He is a legal risk placement because he has an unknown birthfather. That part of it has been a little scary at times, but on Feb. 28th , 2006, the legal time for a birthfather to come forward will expire. We will go to court, and he will be the child who God has entrusted to us forever.

I think our hearts still have a thin layer of reserve on them until we pass that last hurdle. But most days, when we’re laughing with him, talking to him, rocking him, reading to him, feeding him. . . all we feel is unbridled, unconditional love. And that won’t change even if God entrusts him to someone else.